I want to dig an emo hole, crawl in, and cry till Oct 20th.

Yay for PostConcert Depression.

Oh how it rears its ugly head.

I was trying to meet with Oleg today, but my phone is dead. I used Moses's but Moses took it with him, and so if Oleg calls back, then Moses will have it, and he'll have to call someone here to tell me... which I guess could work.
Except I havent heard anything.

Its been a month and all I have is one song, with partial syth and partial drums.

I have no band, I can't perfom live.

I can't take this anymore. The only way any of this is going to get done is if I have people who are as passionate as me about my art helping me, and theres only like two people who are that. I cant do this on my own, I just can't, I dont have the resources, but I can't find anyone to help me.

Something needs to change, I just can't stand this waiting anymore. I want what I had last night all the time. I want the stage, the lights, the music, the fans, the dancing, the merch, interacting with other musicians, meeting new people all the time, people constantly supporting what I love more than other thing in the world.

but tomorrow I have to go back home, wake up, go to school, worry about school things, and worry about how Im going to get the money to get through this and next month. Worry about trying to find a drummer, a guitarist, a bassist, a keyboardist, worry about how Im going to get out of here in time to actually live my life.

I'm just so emotionally exhausted from this, and frustrated with it all.